The sun that always rises...
You can't talk to people without them penetrating you with their opinions and ideas. Their opinions being a compilation of all they've learned from the vast majority of other people who have penetrated them. Nobody is right, you just do what you do cause you do it, cause you're animalistic-ally drawn toward it or you do nothing because you're drawn to nothing and remain content in that. People say "you can't let your dreams die with you", but I think that's some crock of shit dissatisfaction business. Who needs all these dreams, and desires? These "should dos", these fantasies? All invented to make you believe your life isn't exciting enough. What's the trade off? How much do you have to pay, and how much do you have to work to fulfill that excitement? When all is done, the person you're standing with is still going to be you. It's ok to not want what others want without feeling like you suffer from indescribable mental illness. The only illness is the perception that something is wrong with you. Perhaps, the best thing a person can do is let their dreams die now and just be with whatever the fuck is natural.
Maybe you don't have "social anxiety", maybe you just feel better alone or maybe you just hate the people who surround you. Maybe you feel shame over that so a good old diagnosis gives you a reasonable excuse to avoid society. It's like we wake up in the morning and know what we want but feel we need to make up some socially acceptable excuse to do it. The more who you want to be doesn't resemble what's comfortable to others, the more excuses you'll need. A life in which you hide in a cave, spend every day alone, read books, immerse yourself in every molecule of nature, laugh at your own jokes, stumble around in your own interests, maybe have no interests at all, disappear entirely, believe in nothing. This is a life nobody will recommend because god forbid you don't need them, god forbid you don't believe in all these meanings and ideas that most people rest their entire purpose on. Fuck purpose. This is the path of a true rebel, this is the path that makes a person unbreakable. This is the path of a man who does whatever he wants, and sees nothing wrong with it. A man who takes no substance to adhere. A man who walks in his own direction toward the sun which always rises. A man who never forgets the sun in spite of all who label him an outlaw. The greatest challenge of all...to remain kind to all who stand against you.
By: Jenna Rubin